ARAB ISRAELI DOG FIGHT

At the height of the Intifada, the Israelis and Arabs realized that, if

they continued, they would someday end up destroying the world.

So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight.

The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop

the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn

its country the right to rule the world. The losing side would have to

lay down its arms.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the

world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the

meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy

from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of

the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect

killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that

needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this

beast.

When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a

strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird

animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The

bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute.

The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the

ring. The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.

As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its

jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but

a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief.

"We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five

years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed

a killing machine."

"Really?" the Israelis replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working

for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund!"