For those of you who either play an instrument in an ensemble, band, etc.,

or have a loved one who does, the following should come in handy!

Golden Rules For Ensemble Playing

1. Everyone should play the same piece.

2. Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to

take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!

3. If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your

partners.

4. Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up

with the others.

5. Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way

you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.

6. Take your time turning pages.

7. The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice

versa).

8. If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.

9. Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That

way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.

10. Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not

be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.

11. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it

up. Everything will work itself out in the end.

12. If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say,

"I think we should tune."

13. Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the

kingdom of music is theirs.

14. If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in

detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.

15. A true interpretation is realized when there remains not

one note of the original.

16. When everyone else has finished playing, you should

not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left

over, please play them on the way home.

17. A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong

note played with authority is an interpretation.